We are on another Shadow Work topic this week, my dearest readers. At first, I was struggling to think up a topic that wasn’t too grim. And, well, this may also be grim. But, it also fell into my lap very early in the work week. No, I am not going to discuss the political climate. But, I am going to discuss a larger issue that is very fundamentally related to that climate.

Instance One

My Dearest Readers, do you ever wake up and ask yourself what you are willing to put up with, today? Long story short, apparently one of the other renters in my office unit got upset with our landlord last night (very reasonably) but then texted me and told me to ‘do the thing’ at the landlord in a conversation that I was not even a part of. I had to ask my colleagues what the devil this person was referring to—and apparently this person has a bad habit of getting high and then wanting other people to poke and prod at situations. This individual knows that I don’t take any bullshit at work these days, and so I suppose they thought I was a suitable candidate. 

For what though? 

To alleviate their own emotional discomfort. Because given the fact that we are all planning to move office already, we are not planning to stay with this landlord. And the landlord’s behavior is a very big part of this issue. But, there is absolutely zero point in starting a fight where one is not needed. Indeed, there was nothing I could do or say that would make the landlord actually change their actions or get off their ass sooner. It’s an established pattern of behavior at this point. 

So, spark notes so far: I was not a part of this conversation. We had nothing to gain from starting a fight with the land lord. This individual in our office just wanted me to cause strife to alleviate their own feelings of emotional and mental discomfort at feeling slighted. And they was not willing to do it herself. So lets dig in. They wanted someone to start a fight with no benefit so they could feel better, while sitting at home, on the couch, safely behind their screen with none of their fingerprints on it. They wanted me to do the dirty work, and expose myself to problems because they could not tolerate a little mental tension. 

But who did they ask to behave as both her cats-paw and by proxy protect them from the consequences? The Neurodivergent Woman of Color. 

I dearly hope we can all see the problem with this. And, yes, the request came from a white person. And, curiously, it also came from another neuodivergant person. Back when I was younger and far more foolish, I would have jumped at the chance to be useful for a friend and support them. But, now I’m a little wiser and I see these games for what they are—and I’m not about to enable this. I see enough of it in ‘advocacy’ or ‘liberation’ spaces. Everyone will turn towards the person with a disability, neurodivergence, or the otherwise most oppressed person in the room and demand to know why they aren’t doing more for everyone else. Bitch, a lot of us put in a lot of work just to survive. (White people and people who aspire to be white adjacent just want to act like the Morally Superior Master who just sits there and commands and gets the aura points for it) WHOO SAID THATT??????

People of Color and the Neurodivergent Hate Each Other and Hate Themselves

I am positive that I have written about how ambition for Proximity to Whiteness is a disease before. But, internalized white supremacy is a very big problem in our communities. I’m going to call out the Asian community in particular because, being mixed Italian and Chinese, I see it a lot. The colorism is disgusting. Why do you think so many Asians voted the way they did on the immigration issue? Or against the idea of a black woman in power? I’ll let you chew on that. It’s the same reason why injectable skin bleaching is a very common procedure these days in parts of Asia. 

But, it’s interesting how much people of color hate the neurodivergent. Why? Well, it’s not very…”all American” if you know what I mean. I’ve had instances where people claimed to love how blunt and straight forward I was, only for them to turn around and say they couldn’t be publicly seen with someone ‘like me’ because they were getting their business off the ground. After all the support and free labor I provided, of course. Yes, from another woman of color, at that. But, she would just love for me to stay behind the scenes as a secret friend side-hoe and reap the benefits of exploiting me. 

If someone can’t be seen in public with you, they don’t like you. They just like what you can do for them.

There are plenty of minorities in terms of the LGBTQ+ population and racial minorities who just…cannot be seen around the neurodivergent. You can sense it. Which is curious…since we are all oppressed by the same forces. And let’s be real. You all know I’m talking about grown adults when I write these posts unless I say otherwise. But kids…do always learn from example. 

If someone thinks it’s alright to oppress or exploit one segment of the population, they need to realize that those in power can declare whatever segment that is at any time they please—and they can always expand it.

And because this is a Shadow Work post…I do wonder what about this has upset any of you. I will accept any hate comments with open arms as proof of you shoving the emotional labor of examining that back onto me. <3 But, I’ll also be sending a bill.