This is less an instructional or educational post, and more self-reflective.

I think that it may be a fact of human nature within our current culture to be dissatisfied with what we have. There is a saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But, I wonder if this is a natural state of humanity or witches. From the time my generation has been very young, there was always a sense of competition between us. Who has the nicest toys? Who looks most in-line with beauty standards? Part of me wonders if this is a state of our natures, or if we are manipulated by a capitalist culture. 

But what does this have to do with magic, or witchcraft? It’s simple. It is also easy to envy what others have without fully valuing our own talents. 

The Aspect of Flashiness

If you compare actual magic with the way magic is portrayed in our culture, it is easy to see a very obvious point of envy. Most people cannot perceive magic, and even then fewer can overtly see it. So for many of us, magic is an invisible force within the world. No fireballs or flashy shields of light. 

It might actually be a good thing that we, magicians, are not very flashy to normal people. If I know anything about the country I live in, we would be mowed down by some gun-toting extremist if the average goon could see we were up to some shit. 

Unfortunately, I don’t have the gift of supernatural sight. Instead, like Tanjiro from Demon Slayer, I can get a ‘whiff’ so to speak when something passes by my area. This is something I had from a very young childhood, but didn’t understand what it was until well into my adulthood. Unfortunately for me, that isn’t something that is talked about nearly as much as ‘magical sight’ is. Instead, I’m out here flicking my tongue like a lizard and sniffing stuff. Instead of fitting the image of a very mysterious witch that sees things that normal people can’t, I’m basically a Mr. Krabs meme. 

Becoming Comfortable in Your Own Magic

If some of us had our way, we would be very cool looking main-character types who could punch spirits in the face and live in a shonen action manga universe. Unfortunately, we happen to live in the universe with shitty inflation problems and pandemics. 

Unfortunately, like many, I don’t really see myself in action protagonists. Some of what I do best, without much effort, is making things. The easiest way to explain it is that I may very well be ‘naturally’ an artificer. If I make a plush familiar for a physical anchor, the odds are that something will inhabit it by the time I’m finished making it. Working with my hands comes naturally to me. 

At some point, though, we have to come to terms with our own natures. There is a point in every practitioner’s life where they have to figure out the source of their powers. Not all of us have ‘Dragons’ or ‘Ice’ or other magical sources that are often mirrored in pop culture. Some of us aren’t really living in that genre—if that makes sense. The best way of explaining my power is that it’s not an action show. It fits more into ‘Isekai Izakaya’ or ‘Mushishi.’ Less of an exorcist, I’m more like the weirdo with their own lair (or laboratory / studio) that the protagonist occasionally visits for help or cool items. It’s a slower pace in my world.

The key was to realize that I wasn’t a ‘side character’ to everyone else in my world. I’m just the protagonist of a very, very different genre than how magicians or witches are usually presented. However, I still live in the maximalist corvid horde that Howl Pendragon would find very familiar. 

Leaning into Yourself

So how do you learn to be comfortable with the nature of your own magic? Maybe we lean into it. If I move into a larger house, I would want to have my very own ‘laboratory’ or other very pretentiously labeled room for my crafts and craft. I suppose I could even have a sign, and decorate it appropriately. 

Sometimes our sources of magic power take time to discover. It always seemed like an unspoken right of passage from my time in the occult community. But, it is also a very curious facet to our identities. People always want to seem more impressive, because they fear they aren’t.

Is there a part of your magic that you ever felt was not what you wanted or what you fantasized about?